Baseball v. Lacrosse: End the Hate

Baseball vs. Lacrosse: End the Hate

Friday afternoon kicked off the spring sports season at Blair. But what it also kicked off is the trash talking between baseball and lacrosse players. Last year, my first in high school, I was taught early on by the upperclassmen on the baseball team that I should hate lacrosse players and everything they stand for. I didn't really have an issue with lacrosse, and even had some friends on the team. But somehow, it became engrained within me that I should dislike the sport. The same thing happened to many of my teammates, and there's no doubt in my mind that the lacrosse kids developed a dislike for us, too.

The rivalry itself was usually limited to occasional trash talking in the locker room before practice, or just making fun of each other in the hallways. But then, this happened.

























It's probably not very clear what's actually going on in this picture. Basically, at the beginning of the season, someone on the baseball team had the dumb idea to make a kid carry around this plant for a week if they made a mistake in a game. No one on the team actually cared about it, and it was rare that someone was actually assigned to carry it around. But the JV lacrosse team apparently thought they we liked the plant, or something, and stole it. Then, they took the picture above, with the caption: "YOLO! We stole it!" This was stupid for a multitude of reasons:

1) We didn't want the plant.
    2) It was a punishment for us.
    3) The caption said "yolo".
    4) It's a potted plant.


But some kids on the baseball team took it as an act of war, and decided to get revenge. One guy on our team went over to the lacrosse field early in the morning one day, and tied their goals to the fence using zipties. The lacrosse team got understandably salty, and the relationship between the two sports only suffered more. But as this spring gets started, I was thinking about the rivalry. It's sort of dumb. I can understand some of the slights against baseball, and there's definitely some silly things about lacrosse. But they're both fairly difficult sports, and I think that instead of spreading the hate this spring, the two sports should come together. And instead of teaching the current freshmen to despise the other sport, like what happened to us, we should teach them to appreciate it. But some friendly teasing between the two sides is chill and natural.

After all, lacrosse still sort of sucks. <3

Looking Back on the Harbowl/Beyonce Bowl/Blackout Bowl

Looking Back on the Harbowl/Beyonce Bowl/Blackout Bowl

The Super Bowl and all its excitement occurred exactly one week ago. Beyonce, the blackout, and the dueling brothers made it the most memorable Super Bowl in recent history, so to commemorate the game and the entertainment it brought along, here are the things people will most remember from it looking back:

1. The Harbaugh brothers

To understand how absolutely ridiculous and lucky it is that two brothers faced off as head coaches in the biggest sporting event of the year, all you need to do is think about it as a movie. If you were to watch a movie where this happened, not only would you find it unlikely, you would find it utterly implausible. Not only is it too good to be true, it's too crazy to be real. Math is not my strong suit, but I'm sure the chances of this happening ever again are something like, 3 gazillion to one. The number of things that had to go right for this to happen is stupendously high. What if an eight year old Jim decided he liked bocce more than football? What if he got hired by an AFC team instead of an NFC team? The list goes on, and the longer it goes on, the more mind-boggling their Super Bowl meeting gets. 

2. The Blackout

The real loser in this game wasn't the 49ers, it was whoever was in charge of electricity. The biggest sports event of the year, millions of people tuning in, and... they lose power. It was almost surreal. Initially, when it happened, it felt like Bane was going to come out and proclaim that he was taking the stadium hostage. Luckily, (or unluckily, for the Batman fans), that didn't happen and power was restored within half an hour. 

3. Beyonce

Beyonce was spectacular, and almost definitely won back any fans that were lost after the whole inauguration lip-syncing fiasco. She managed to captivate both males and females with her performance, although probably for different reasons, and was much more pleasing to the eye than a wrinkly Mick Jagger. 

4. Ray Lewis 

Lewis managed to somehow escape unscathed from the PED issue that was brought up earlier in the week, but was nothing special in the actual game. He recorded seven tackles, and didn't have any real significant moment in the game. But his team won, thus completing one of the more storybook-type endings to a career in history. Disappointingly enough, he did not ascend into the heavens after the game, as predicted by SNL's Kenan Thompson, but still gave us one last classic Ray lewis interview. It will be a little strange not seeing him stomp around on Sunday afternoons anymore, but he'll be back in the spotlight soon enough, whether it be on TV or at the Hall of Fame.

5. The commercials

Honestly, it was a weak year for commercials. The numerous wives who tuned in merely for the ads were almost surely disappointed, as well they should be. The Samsung one posted below was killer, and there were a few other gems scattered throughout. But what will remain most indelible in our memories is the Bar Rafaeli Go Daddy ad. Basically, the commercial is just the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model making out with a dorky looking guy for 30 seconds. If the goal was to make the audience uncomfortable, then mission accomplished. I would post it, but I don't want to make anyone cringe. Look it up if you must. 

6. Karma

Earlier in the week, Chris Culliver made a series of homophobic statements in an interview with a comedian. He apologized profusely afterwards, and said that the words that "came out of his mouth weren't his beliefs". Not surprisingly, not many people went for that explanation. Nonetheless, he played the game, and all was going fairly normally, until a little before halftime. Flacco wound up, and delivered a deep ball to a wide open Jacoby Jones. Jones fell as he caught it, and when he got up, only Culliver was separating him from the endzone. In a supreme act of quickness, Jones spun left, leaving Culliver grasping at air. It was a spin move for the whole gay rights community, and only served as further evidence that karma is real and alive. Culliver, you had it coming.

Silver Spring

Silver Spring Video

Above is my completely self-shot and self-edited video showing what Silver Spring is like. Is it the best video in the world? No, but I'm proud of it anyway. Originally, I had hoped to perhaps partner up with someone else to do this project, but I took too long. By the time I had to start actually thinking about the video, everyone already had partners. So, it was up to me to make my own video and then edit it. I had to steal Peter Berger's camera to film it, because I don't own a video camera, and then went to downtown Silver Spring to get some footage. Basically, I wandered around and took video of things that looked Silver Spring-y to me. Maybe it wasn't the most ambitious of ideas, but I didn't want to get in over my head. After all, I am pretty terrible at editing things. I used Youtube Video Editor, mainly because it was easy, and completed the editing process in about 45 minutes. Then I plugged in some happy music I found that was CC approved, and I was done. Unfortunately, I had found some music on ccmixter that I was going to use, but I couldn't figure out how to put it in my video. I resorted to using a strange song that I found on Youtube's own list of approved audio tracks. It works though, I guess. Enjoy.

P.S. Here's a hoops mixtape.

Hail Victory

Hail Victory

To read about the Redskins' victory and their pair of talented rookies, follow this link to the Sideline Scoop.

"You Don't Know Bo"

You Don't Know Bo

You Don’t Know Bo  is an expository documentary that details the life of former football and baseball player Bo Jackson, and his stunning athletic legacy and achievements. Bo Jackson was born in a dirt-poor neighborhood in Bessemer, Alabama, the second youngest of ten children. It was evident from an early age that he was an immensely gifted athlete, and it was at this age that the lore of Bo began. He went to McAdory High School, and by the time he graduated, he had set the record in the 100-yard dash, and earned a combined baseball and football scholarship to Auburn University. College-level sports proved no obstacle, as he excelled from his freshman year. He led the football team to their first victory over hated Alabama in ten years, and established himself as a first round MLB prospect. After his four years, he was drafted by the NFL’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but refused to play for them after a visit to their facilities in college rendered him ineligible to play baseball his senior year. Instead, he chose to play baseball, and was drafted by the Kansas City Royals. His godly athleticism manifested itself in his first at-bat, when he beat out a routine grounder to second base. After a year of baseball, the L.A. Raiders came calling, and he agreed to play for them. So, essentially, he took football up as a hobby, something to take up his time after baseball. And he dominated the league, until a freak hip injury ended his career. A brief stint in baseball happened, but it was the end of Bo Jackson being Bo Jackson.

The overall mood of the documentary was a mix between upbeat, because of his completely ridiculous feats, and sad, because so much potential was left unfulfilled after his premature end in sports. This was clearly established in the documentary, as the director would slow the shots and music down when a somber tone was needed, and would speed up the shots along with brighter lighting when it was detailing his outstanding career. The music is outstanding, alternating between fast paced marching band music and mournful classical music. The special effects were also a nice touch, as often, cartoons would be used to depict legends of Bo that had no video available. Archival footage was used heavily throughout the documentary, to emphasize his crazy sprints and jumps and throws. Interviews were conducted of Bo himself, and coaches and teammates of his. Jackson actually was the main narrator of the film, explaining the events that were happening on screen.

If you’re a fan of sports, then I would absolutely recommend this film. The archival footage alone, of him climbing up walls, running people over, and hitting mammoth homeruns, makes it basically a spectacle. The film does, however, get a little slow near the end, when his injury happens. The director’s portrayal of the injury is a tad overdramatic, and too long is spent lingering on the injury and his rehabilitation. The film would’ve been better off simply chronicling more of his athletic exploits. Nonetheless, even if you are someone with little interest in sports, Bo Jackson is still an intriguing figure. The folklore surrounding him makes him almost a literary figure, and his grace and power and capability to make you say “Whoa” can reach all people, regardless of their interests. You Don’t Know Bo is worth the watch. 

You Don't Know Bo , 77 mins , PG

"You done messed up, A-Aron!"

"You done messed up, A-Aron!"

Key and Peele, a comedy duo, created a sketch called "Substitute Teacher" in October. Since the video has been released and posted on Youtube, it's garnered more than 8 million views. And I think it's a safe bet to say that my friends and I have contributed a solid half-million views to that count. The 3-minute long video is easily one of the funniest things I've seen this year, so in lieu of my normal sportz blog post, I thought I'd break the video down. Be forewarned, the b-word is dropped a couple times, but it's all in the name of laughter.

0:00 - Nothing too original, just another substitute teacher joke. Until...

0:19 - "No Jay-queline here today?" Poor Jacqueline makes for the first victim of Mr. Garvey's name-butchering. She serves the role well, though, looking both confused and intimidated at the same time. Still, up to this point, the video is nothing more than giggle-inducing.

0:47 - "Where's Belakay at?" This sequence is the most underrated part of the video. Blake doesn't stand a chance. This is also my favorite name of the entire thing. It truly takes a comedic genius to see the hidden pronunciation in such a one-dimensional name such as Blake.  Will I ever be able refer to someone named Blake by their proper name again? Probably not. Also, note the meek smile at 1:15 that  was probably accompanied by Blake peeing his pants.

1:36 - "Do you mean Denise?" And here, Mr. Garvey meets his first opposition. Dee-nice shows a little bit of sass as she challenges the battle-tested sub, but it's to no avail. Remember, Mr. Garvey taught in the inner city. This segment does, however, set up the best stretch of the entire video.

1:56 - "You better be sick, dead, or mute, A-Aron!" This 40-second part of the video deserves to be put in the comedy Hall of Fame, if there is such a thing. Everything, from A-Aron's smug face to the eventual expulsion to O-Shag-Henessey's office, is hilarious. The sequence is capped off beautifully by Mr. Garvey's declaration that A-Aron is both insubordinate and churlish. Also, this isn't relevant, but I don't like A-Aron. I hope Principal O-Shag-Henessy really lays into him.

2:46 - "Ti-MOTHY." Finally, someone cooperates! The other half of the comedy pair finally appears, and kills it with his perfectly timed "pree-sent". If only we could see the rest of Mr. Garvey's science class that day.


Sorry for the lack of sports in this blog post, here's a hoops mixtape.

Sports and Healing

Sports and Healing

Sports can have a way of healing things. They serve as a constant in people's lives, the one object that will always be available for discussion, for yelling at, and for cheering for. They can distract when distraction is needed, and can give a town something to huddle around in dire times. Sports can be a source of comfort in the wake of a tragedy, for both the fans and players. And that is why the Kansas City Chiefs' decision to play on Sunday afternoon, despite the franchise-shaking murder-suicide that took place at their stadium the day before, is the right one.

It's unclear why Jovan Belcher did what he did. There was no sign of a troubled mind, no indication of unrest. Family friends described him as "friendly, a good guy... someone you wanted to be around." His agent, Joe Linta, pinned him as "charitable and humble." So when Belcher shot his girlfriend on Saturday morning, then drove to Arrowhead Stadium to kill himself in front of coaches, the tragedy struck home harder. The excess of questions left unanswered in the incident will undoubtedly make the healing process more difficult, and keep the wounds open longer. When there is no explanation for bloodshed, it feels that much more bloody. And because of this, the sentiment that the Chiefs should not play Sunday against the Panthers is one that is surely floating through not just Kansas City, but the entire country. And on the surface, that argument is the right one. The deaths that took place eclipsed the uneclipsable NFL, and in the wake of them, football seems to have no place. But that's where the argument fails.

The Chiefs have been, to put it simply, having a really, really, bad year. They have a 1 and 10 record that is every bit as ugly as it seems, and the GM and coach will almost surely be fired at the end of the year. The players were unhappy before the incident, and the fans were disappointed. But now, the added feeling of sorrow has been heaped onto that. And while time to mend may seem to be the remedy, the best move would be to play the game. The players would get a reprieve from the mourning, and find comfort in the thing they love most. Fans from across the heavy-hearted city would have both a place to comfort one another and a place to show support for a devastated team. Some things are bigger than football, but that doesn't mean football can't help.

NOTE: The Chiefs decided to play, and won 27-21. Coach Romeo Crennell: "As far as playing the game, I thought that was the best for us to do, because that's what we do. We're football players and football coaches and that's what we do, we play on Sunday."