Hail Victory

Hail Victory

To read about the Redskins' victory and their pair of talented rookies, follow this link to the Sideline Scoop.

"You Don't Know Bo"

You Don't Know Bo

You Don’t Know Bo  is an expository documentary that details the life of former football and baseball player Bo Jackson, and his stunning athletic legacy and achievements. Bo Jackson was born in a dirt-poor neighborhood in Bessemer, Alabama, the second youngest of ten children. It was evident from an early age that he was an immensely gifted athlete, and it was at this age that the lore of Bo began. He went to McAdory High School, and by the time he graduated, he had set the record in the 100-yard dash, and earned a combined baseball and football scholarship to Auburn University. College-level sports proved no obstacle, as he excelled from his freshman year. He led the football team to their first victory over hated Alabama in ten years, and established himself as a first round MLB prospect. After his four years, he was drafted by the NFL’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but refused to play for them after a visit to their facilities in college rendered him ineligible to play baseball his senior year. Instead, he chose to play baseball, and was drafted by the Kansas City Royals. His godly athleticism manifested itself in his first at-bat, when he beat out a routine grounder to second base. After a year of baseball, the L.A. Raiders came calling, and he agreed to play for them. So, essentially, he took football up as a hobby, something to take up his time after baseball. And he dominated the league, until a freak hip injury ended his career. A brief stint in baseball happened, but it was the end of Bo Jackson being Bo Jackson.

The overall mood of the documentary was a mix between upbeat, because of his completely ridiculous feats, and sad, because so much potential was left unfulfilled after his premature end in sports. This was clearly established in the documentary, as the director would slow the shots and music down when a somber tone was needed, and would speed up the shots along with brighter lighting when it was detailing his outstanding career. The music is outstanding, alternating between fast paced marching band music and mournful classical music. The special effects were also a nice touch, as often, cartoons would be used to depict legends of Bo that had no video available. Archival footage was used heavily throughout the documentary, to emphasize his crazy sprints and jumps and throws. Interviews were conducted of Bo himself, and coaches and teammates of his. Jackson actually was the main narrator of the film, explaining the events that were happening on screen.

If you’re a fan of sports, then I would absolutely recommend this film. The archival footage alone, of him climbing up walls, running people over, and hitting mammoth homeruns, makes it basically a spectacle. The film does, however, get a little slow near the end, when his injury happens. The director’s portrayal of the injury is a tad overdramatic, and too long is spent lingering on the injury and his rehabilitation. The film would’ve been better off simply chronicling more of his athletic exploits. Nonetheless, even if you are someone with little interest in sports, Bo Jackson is still an intriguing figure. The folklore surrounding him makes him almost a literary figure, and his grace and power and capability to make you say “Whoa” can reach all people, regardless of their interests. You Don’t Know Bo is worth the watch. 

You Don't Know Bo , 77 mins , PG

"You done messed up, A-Aron!"

"You done messed up, A-Aron!"

Key and Peele, a comedy duo, created a sketch called "Substitute Teacher" in October. Since the video has been released and posted on Youtube, it's garnered more than 8 million views. And I think it's a safe bet to say that my friends and I have contributed a solid half-million views to that count. The 3-minute long video is easily one of the funniest things I've seen this year, so in lieu of my normal sportz blog post, I thought I'd break the video down. Be forewarned, the b-word is dropped a couple times, but it's all in the name of laughter.

0:00 - Nothing too original, just another substitute teacher joke. Until...

0:19 - "No Jay-queline here today?" Poor Jacqueline makes for the first victim of Mr. Garvey's name-butchering. She serves the role well, though, looking both confused and intimidated at the same time. Still, up to this point, the video is nothing more than giggle-inducing.

0:47 - "Where's Belakay at?" This sequence is the most underrated part of the video. Blake doesn't stand a chance. This is also my favorite name of the entire thing. It truly takes a comedic genius to see the hidden pronunciation in such a one-dimensional name such as Blake.  Will I ever be able refer to someone named Blake by their proper name again? Probably not. Also, note the meek smile at 1:15 that  was probably accompanied by Blake peeing his pants.

1:36 - "Do you mean Denise?" And here, Mr. Garvey meets his first opposition. Dee-nice shows a little bit of sass as she challenges the battle-tested sub, but it's to no avail. Remember, Mr. Garvey taught in the inner city. This segment does, however, set up the best stretch of the entire video.

1:56 - "You better be sick, dead, or mute, A-Aron!" This 40-second part of the video deserves to be put in the comedy Hall of Fame, if there is such a thing. Everything, from A-Aron's smug face to the eventual expulsion to O-Shag-Henessey's office, is hilarious. The sequence is capped off beautifully by Mr. Garvey's declaration that A-Aron is both insubordinate and churlish. Also, this isn't relevant, but I don't like A-Aron. I hope Principal O-Shag-Henessy really lays into him.

2:46 - "Ti-MOTHY." Finally, someone cooperates! The other half of the comedy pair finally appears, and kills it with his perfectly timed "pree-sent". If only we could see the rest of Mr. Garvey's science class that day.


Sorry for the lack of sports in this blog post, here's a hoops mixtape.

Sports and Healing

Sports and Healing

Sports can have a way of healing things. They serve as a constant in people's lives, the one object that will always be available for discussion, for yelling at, and for cheering for. They can distract when distraction is needed, and can give a town something to huddle around in dire times. Sports can be a source of comfort in the wake of a tragedy, for both the fans and players. And that is why the Kansas City Chiefs' decision to play on Sunday afternoon, despite the franchise-shaking murder-suicide that took place at their stadium the day before, is the right one.

It's unclear why Jovan Belcher did what he did. There was no sign of a troubled mind, no indication of unrest. Family friends described him as "friendly, a good guy... someone you wanted to be around." His agent, Joe Linta, pinned him as "charitable and humble." So when Belcher shot his girlfriend on Saturday morning, then drove to Arrowhead Stadium to kill himself in front of coaches, the tragedy struck home harder. The excess of questions left unanswered in the incident will undoubtedly make the healing process more difficult, and keep the wounds open longer. When there is no explanation for bloodshed, it feels that much more bloody. And because of this, the sentiment that the Chiefs should not play Sunday against the Panthers is one that is surely floating through not just Kansas City, but the entire country. And on the surface, that argument is the right one. The deaths that took place eclipsed the uneclipsable NFL, and in the wake of them, football seems to have no place. But that's where the argument fails.

The Chiefs have been, to put it simply, having a really, really, bad year. They have a 1 and 10 record that is every bit as ugly as it seems, and the GM and coach will almost surely be fired at the end of the year. The players were unhappy before the incident, and the fans were disappointed. But now, the added feeling of sorrow has been heaped onto that. And while time to mend may seem to be the remedy, the best move would be to play the game. The players would get a reprieve from the mourning, and find comfort in the thing they love most. Fans from across the heavy-hearted city would have both a place to comfort one another and a place to show support for a devastated team. Some things are bigger than football, but that doesn't mean football can't help.

NOTE: The Chiefs decided to play, and won 27-21. Coach Romeo Crennell: "As far as playing the game, I thought that was the best for us to do, because that's what we do. We're football players and football coaches and that's what we do, we play on Sunday."